


Becquerel Be's A Dog

by Classpectanon



Series: Three Hundred And Sixty Five Ficlets About Homestuck [41]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Gen, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:34:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29342910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Classpectanon/pseuds/Classpectanon
Summary: Bark bark!Just kidding. Wouldn't that be really funny though if we did the entire narration in dog language? No? Okay, we'll translate for you then.41/365
Relationships: Becquerel & A Steak & A Nap
Series: Three Hundred And Sixty Five Ficlets About Homestuck [41]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2085684
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Becquerel Be's A Dog

Bark bark!

Just kidding. Wouldn't that be really funny though if we did the entire narration in dog language? No? Okay, we'll translate for you then.

Becquerel was a good dog. Becquerel was always a good dog, from sun-up, to sun-down, and from the start of time to the end of it. Becquerel is the alpha and omega. Becquerel was here when a gigantic meteor glassed the dinosaurs, kicking up stratospheric quantities of dust and molten rock into the stratosphere, and Becquerel will be here when we are all gone. On the other hand, Becquerel also really likes a good irradiated steak, and was really, really digging his naptime right now.

I mean, no, he wasn't, like, _asleep_ asleep yet? But he had been all over the world today hunting for a good steak he could gnaw on, blipping in and out of various butcher shops here and there, inspiring legends of phantom dogs the world over, and in plenty of these places it was very cold, and very snowy today. Becquerel did not like that, not one bit. Back home, with Jade, it was the opposite of snowy - it was bright and warm, even if the air was just a touch colder than he would've liked it. Blip!

Jade was also asleep, with a broken instrument of some kind sitting on her bed, possibly having passed out in one of her paroxysms of narcoleptic anger brought upon by a failed string change. Oh, this was a thing that happened to her every so often. Becquerel didn't know exactly why the strings needed changing, only that sometimes Jade would hit them with a pick and a very loud noise would come out, and sometimes she would hit them with a pick and it would make only a normal amount of clacky-clacky sounds. But, there it was, a string having snapped solidly in two down the middle, fraying into two coiled ends curling up over each other, tension immensely released.

He blipped throughout the tower, through the goofy dead old man's various possessions, occasionally kicking down a suit of armor just because Becquerel was a very big doggy and not very sure of his precise position in space except when it came time to protect Jade from any possible harm that could come to her. He blipped into the ceiling of the tower to watch for planes and birds that he might be able to snatch out of the air. A military drone gently swooped overhead, likely not targeting the island in any meaningful capacity, so instead of biting it in half Becquerel did the nice thing and teleported it into the core of the Earth where it would immediately lose signal and be melted and crushed and recycled into raw materials by her beating, churning, magmatic heart. Because he was a good doggy. Blip!

That was that, then, Becquerel decided. He knew just where he was going to spend his naptime, having also recently decided that it was naptime, and not eat time. Eat time would come later, because Becquerel did not have the opposable thumbs required to properly irradiate a steak, and teleporting to the Elephant's Foot every time he wanted a good meal instead of just waiting for Jade to do the hard work for him was more trouble than it was really worth. Instead, Becquerel, big slab of meat in paw, gently deposited it on top of a plate and then teleported that into the nearest minifridge (of which there were many, frequently filled with steaks).

Then, instead of teleporting, he gently hopped onto Jade's bed, curled up on her legs, and fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. All views, kudos, comments, and bookmarks are appreciated.  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/classpectanon)


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